Fear Says, "Control the Wind!"

FLASH! Boom!
  
Lightening. Thunder.

When my kids were small we often moved to the basement when there was a big storm. It was a safe place, and the noise wasn’t as loud as it was upstairs. Quieting the noise, at least to some extent, quieted the spirit. In the basement they would play, and make up stories about storms. I can still see them enacting some of the scenes.

Thunder was angels bowling. BOOM! STRIKE! Yeah! The kids celebrated.

Lightning is God taking pictures of us. This was my favorite.

The kids would try to time the moment when a flash of lightning would occur. They would strike a pose and hold it until “God took the picture”. This was long before the TV show, “The Next Top Model”, but my kids were already practicing.

At one point, however, my youngest son became afraid of the wind. It wasn’t the thunder or the lightning. It was the wind. Even if it was sunny outside he would go to the basement if he heard the wind gusting with power through the trees. He was terrified.
We would play games and pretend the wind was howling messages. What was the wind trying to say? Let’s go outside and run with the wind! Feel its amazing power pushing you forward faster and faster!

My little guy would begrudgingly join us, but he would be afraid the whole time—begging to go back in the house.

What happened to his tender littler heart that made him afraid?

It was months later that he told me about a tornado drill at school. Students practiced what they needed to do to stay safe in case there ever was a tornado—hide in the hallway with heads down and arms or a book overhead. This routine drill is done every year. The drill or lesson on tornadoes was not bad or wrong. I’m sure it was done with all the gentleness needed for first graders. For my son, however, all he could tell me about it was that a tornado was a big wind, and he could die.
 
What he heard and experienced created extreme fear.

Try as I might, I could not logically explain away his fear. Big winds are normal here in Michigan. You will probably never see a tornado in your lifetime. His 7-year-old brain couldn’t comprehend that only a tiny fraction of “big winds” were tornadoes. It didn’t matter. If it was a big wind, he could die. That’s what he believed.

He carried this belief for several years. Whenever he heard the wind blowing with any kind of intensity, the basement was his safe place.

Now...a wind is blowing across our country - across the globe.

We all hear it. We feel it. It has an energy—a power.
 
It has accompanied a stormy situation that we have never experienced before. We are told it is something different.

Try as I might, I can’t wrap my brain around everything that is happening. Several weeks ago I was on a cruise ship that returned to port early because of a totally different virus. Though real, that was my practice run.

All the hygiene rules were in place. My husband and I touched almost nothing, and we washed our hands constantly. It should have been relaxing, but there was an energy of fear that permeated even the most jovial of events. For a few passengers, fear was manifested by anger. They were always angry about something or someone. The energy of fear and anger was palpable. We all felt on high alert.

Now, just a few weeks later, it’s no longer a drill. The SARS coronavirus has created a situation where schools are shut down, events are cancelled and businesses are closed. The stock market tanked and the economy is struggling as people cannot go to work. Empty store shelves creates more fear and a mind-set of lack. Fear whispers, “I may not have enough.” News and social media is keeping everyone up-to-date on the spread of the coronavirus and how many people are dying. The energy of fear flows like a river into our homes.

This week Monday, the governor of Michigan issued an executive order...

Stay at Home-Stay Safe. This is not a suggestion. This is not just a practice run. It’s the real thing.
 
The wind is howling. The storm is all around, and it’s loud.

Do you hear it?

Do you feel it?

I do.

It is intense. It is an energy that moves me.

On Monday, it was so strong that I was afraid. I understood how my young son felt when he heard the power of the wind. I didn’t want to hide, however, I wanted to fight. I wanted to keep everyone I love safe. I wanted to control the storm. I felt deep fear as I realized that any control I thought I had was gone. It felt like chaos.

Fear poured over me like a giant wave, spinning me in circles underneath the water. I didn’t know what way was up. To survive I needed to know which way was up! I needed to be able to breathe. How could I help others if I was drowning myself? I had to stay in control. Pull myself together. Stay strong.

The harder I tried to logically think my way through my emotions, the worse it got. My brain was spinning in circles trying to figure out what to do in this chaos. It was as if my brain was shouting to my heart over the storm, “Don’t worry! You’re safe. I’ve got you!” Neither my brain nor my heart believed it.

I was trying to control the uncontrollable.

The wave had its way with me. 

I cried.

And I cried some more.

It was good.

Some of the pent up energy released. I asked God to help me find the ground, to help me stand up—to help me swim.

He said, “No, my daughter. Surrender. Surrender to the waves and relax.”

God is in control. So, uh…of course I did exactly as I was told. Nope. Not so much.

I heard, “surrender and relax.”

It sounds wonderful, unless you are like me, one who has to fight to the end before she surrenders.

SURRENDER?

RELAX?

God, are you flipping kidding me?

I’m sure I did not hear you correctly. I’m not a quitter! I can figure things out.

All I need you to do, God, is help me find my footing. Show me…

I paused.

All I need you to do, God…is…

[pause] [sigh]

God patiently waited as I realized what I was saying. I was still trying to control and had the audacity to tell God that “all he had to do…”

Wow.

Humbling.

Freeing.

I am not in control of anything but my own response to the situation.

In the chaos, God whispers…“I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

I am free to control my response.

What would it be?

Today I woke up to a world that is still spinning.

The energy remains intense. We are under a mandatory lockdown. This is no practice drill.

Right now I feel the wind more than I hear it. It is still intense, but the noise has quieted some with social distancing, which includes news and social media. I know the energy I feel—the wind—has the power to both destroy and create. The choice to how I respond is mine. I relax into the freedom that this wind is not mine to control.

Yesterday I tried to control the wind, and I was filled with an energy of fear that only led to chaos and more fear.
Today I surrender. I am still, and I listen to my heart. How are you today, heart? My brain tries to answer, but I quiet the voice in my head. How are you, heart? I listen to the rhythm as it beats in my chest. My heart is content. It is at rest.

I’m still physically at home, but like a child who loves to run with the wind, I open my arms and feel its power. It is an energy that fills me, not with destructive fear but with passion and purpose. With joy and expectation I invite this energy to propel me forward, allowing God to use the wind to create new paths and opportunities.

Today I hear the wind, and I am not afraid. I will not hide.

Today, I run out to greet and welcome it into my life. My heart is free, and my brain is alert, but at peace.

Will you be joining me? If you’re afraid, that’s okay. I was in that space yesterday, and I didn’t like that battle one bit. Shut off the TV, radio and social media. Silence the noise in your head—the stories of danger and drama. Let God speak to your heart. Notice the energy around you and respond without fear. Let’s surrender to the energy of the wind propelling us to create, to love and to be filled with joy.

This starts by giving yourself time and space to become quiet and reflective. “In quietness and trust is your strength.” I start out quiet, but then have so much emotion and gratitude that I have to get up and move. Loud music and dancing may ensue. You, however, may respond differently, and that’s a beautiful thing. Write a poem, hike through the woods, take a bath to relax and reflect, weed your garden, plant something new, bake, or work up a sweat at the gym. What makes your heart sing? Do that, and just be—be at peace.

I pray that the One who controls the wind empower you to be more than you ever thought you could be…in such a time as this.

With Love,
Dawn Ranae

PS: Sometimes we need some help to calm our physical and emotional body that is on high alert and working through fear. Sore to Soar® essential oil is a beautiful blend that calms the wounded and/or fear-filled heart. Anger is an emotion the stems from fear, so Sore to Soar supports balancing that intense energy as well. A drop on the chest and hands, or even some in a bath/footbath with some Epsom salt is very relaxing.

Fear and anger can also affect sleep. Taking 2-4 of the nutritional supplement, Kalmz,  before bedtime is very helpful to assist in calming the intense energy causing your emotional heart and brain to stay on alert. I love to write in my journal before I go to sleep, starting with all the things I am grateful for. Then, if I still feel unsettled and burdened I write down all the things that concern me. My last sentence is “I am not in control of any of these. God, I give them to you. Good-night.”

"We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us;
we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."  
C.S. Lewis